Make Your Free Certificate
As Free as Anything You’ll Ever Get in This Life
No application. No tuition. No invoice. No email request. No waiting for us.
Download the fillable certificate, type the recipient’s name, add the title or honor they so richly and questionably deserve, enter the date, and save it.
Download
Open the fillable PDF or download it to your device. For the most reliable saving and printing, download it first.
Bestow
Type the recipient name, ceremonial title or honor, and date. The title field is freeform, because apparently we trust you.
Save & Cause Trouble
Save the completed PDF, print it, frame it, email it, or present it with entirely unnecessary ceremony.
The Blank Certificate
What Can You Put on It?
Anything that fits the spirit of a ceremonial novelty certificate. Use one of our existing titles, combine several into a bureaucratic masterpiece, or invent a new distinction from scratch.
The fillable PDF gives you three fields: recipient name, title/honor, and date. Everything else, including the entertainment-only disclaimer, stays with the certificate.
Need Inspiration?
We have a buttload of ceremonial titles. Piss Boy. Archduke of Dramatic Pauses. Cawkeeper. Oracle. Knight Who Goes “Ni.” Official Pardon for Poor Life Choices. And that is barely getting started.
Before You Go Forth and Cause Trouble
- A Certificate of Absolution will not help in traffic court, at the DMV, or with parking tickets.
- An Official Pardon for Poor Life Choices is not a cosmic undo button for consequences.
- An honorary degree or religious-sounding title from Crow Seminary is not an academic credential, professional license, government-recognized ordination, or authority to perform miracles on demand.
- You may have the technical ability to bestow “Piss Boy — Certified Bucket Holder” upon a coworker. HR retains the technical ability to react poorly.
Just because you can does not mean you should. It does, however, mean the PDF works.
No Submission Required
Nothing is sent to Crow Seminary. We do not approve it, issue it, verify it, bless it, notarize it, or ask why you thought it was a good idea.
If the website itself is broken or you need to contact us about something other than certificate fulfillment, email crowu4real@gmail.com .
Support the Monastery
Crow Seminary is free. If this made you laugh, help keep the monks caffeinated, sunscreened, dressed for the beach, and occasionally partying. Completely voluntary. Your certificate is every bit as unofficial either way.
Buy the Monks Coffee
$6
Monks need Sunscreen
$11
Monks need Speedos
$21
Monks need to Party
Give what you can
Support is optional. No contribution is required to download or use the certificate.
Bonus: The Super-Secret Elite Club
Place the palm of your hand on your forehead and say “crow” three times. You are now inducted into our super-secret elite club, reserved exclusively for people clever enough not to take this too seriously.
No card. No meetings. No dues. We have streamlined operations considerably.